"Ma name ah Clarice..." Anything but "...Precious Jones" *Contains Spoilers*...it's shit

Welcome to Operation: Head Fuck's first film review inspired by the nauseating anti-climax that was 'Precious'. This is the story of an empoverished rape victim salad dodger who essentially is screwed over in every aspect of her life -perfect plot for a Hollywood film wouldn't you say? However, this is NOT Hollywood which is why it is so dissatisfying.

To illustrate my point....

Would Harry Potter have worked if when the title character had gotten to platform 9 he had smashed his face open on the ticket barrier only to discover that Hogwarts didn't exist...then he'd gotten AIDs and fallen down a flight of stairs and landed on a baby?

Would Sex and the City have worked if after Big left Carrie at the altar she had stayed in her 'Mexicoma' looking like an old man's scrotum, not gotten her hair dyed and made a fabulous new website....then gotten AIDs and fallen down a flight of stairs and landed on a baby?

Would Pursuit of Happiness have worked if Will Smith hadn't gotten the stockbroker job and he and his adorable lad had lived out their final years sleeping in public toilets...then gotten AIDs and fallen down a flight of stairs and landed on a baby?

Suffice to say my major issues with this film is that Clarice Precious Jones is already more unlucky than a particularly delicious looking backpacker travelling through Papua New Guinea during a famine. There's no need for the plot development of her getting AIDs and falling on top of her tiny new born. (like an episode of Road Runner if the Anvil were played by 300lbs worth of idiot).

I look forward to the sequal, directed and produced by The Mink Panther, in which Precious Jones is played by Beyonce and the whole 'A.I.D.s thing' was a typo, it was supposed to read "you have braids"(...to be honest she should have got on to the fact that the bird who does her weave wasn't also a medical practicioner...oh Precious, you crazy!)

Don't smash ye dad.

T.M.P