It's good manners to avoid any discussions about religion or politics when at a social gathering, a rule I try not to break.
Luckily, this is not a social gathering this is my blog, so i'll say whatever the fuck I like.
If you have any negative comments about anything I write, please write them neatly on a piece of paper, fold it up, put it in an envelope and shove it up your arse.
Oh, you're too kind.
Basically, what I want to talk about is the mass waste of skin that is the Occupy Movement. For those of you who don't know, Occupy is
a movement of people across the Western World who saw the brave uprisings of the Middle East and thought to themselves, 'YES! The terrible human rights, lack of democracy and corruption in your country is just like the way I can't get a job!" a big gang of dickheads.
Said dickheads decided to go on camping trips to a city centre near you in "protest". They have also done some other annoying things such as rampaging around Topshop, arranging a "hoodies" march, graffitied, littered and got pissed in the street. Ironically, this behaviour echos that of our country's ASBO lout-types...who coincidentally don't have jobs either. (just sayin')
So, why have these "freedom fighters" created little refugee camps outside our cities' landmarks? Are they protesting against living in buildings? Are they theatrically making a stand against the eviction at Dalefarm? Nope.
They are pissed off with the following:
- Bankers, their bonuses and the recession
- Government cuts
- businesses that make money and capitalism in general
- spending on the military
- rich people
- climate change
As you can see from my succinct list their actions do not seem to correspond with their motives "BUT YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT MAN, IT'S ALL ABOUT DISASSEMBLING THE CORRUPT SOCIETY WE'VE HAD THRUST UPON US AND STARTING FROM SCRATCH WITH AN AUTHENTIC AND PURE COMMON AIM, WE'RE GOING TO BUILD OUR NEW HOUSES IN BRICKS MADE OUT OF LOVE"...fuck off...how did you even get in here?
Some of it is deserved and some of it is bollocks as you can see. However, the bollocks is not really bothering me. I see people protesting about bollocks all the time but I usually just punch them and walk on (just kiddin...i'm not) but no, Occupy really gets my goat, here's why...
Firstly, the idea of fast, sudden, extreme change.
Look back at any suddenly and extremely changed political system.... doesn't work!! Chaos ensues and before you know it i'm running down Upper Parliament Street in cargo shorts and a utility belt filled with grenades trying to defend the righteous against the rapey riotous mobs...or something, I dunno...I haven't really given it much thought...it's not like i've already got the blueprints to Smithdown Lane Armoury, pfft...that would be weird...
Change on a national scale has to happen gradually and carefully, so stop discrediting all the insider pressure groups and activists who've worked years to achieve a fraction of what you're demanding instantly! (yeah, you heard!)
Ultimately however, it is their method that is really getting on my nuts.
Unless your school massively fucked up your Bronze Duke of Edinburgh you should never be in a tent outside a church or shopping centre! Not even if you're trying to be the first in the queue for a Frankie Boyle book signing taking place the following day...because I will always be first in that queue, get over it.
Anyway, you can breath a sigh of relief because Occupy have basically said, "we're not moving unless you give us what we want" and the government has responded with, "Enjoy your stay...please do sign the guestbook" which was predictable, but nice to hear.
In my opinion, as a girl who loves her metaphors, Occupy is the Western World's bratty, spoilt two year old, lying face down in the fruit and veg aisle screaming some incoherent babble, muffled only slightly by the loud tutting of other shoppers. I think that makes David Cameron their mum, and far left socialism is glittery bubblegum which has free temporary tattoos inside.
(...For all that is holy if glittery bubblegum actually exists nobody has the right to complain or be unhappy about anything, ever!)
If living on the streets and being paranoid improved your chances of employment then I guess we would all be working for a bearded man who plays a cardboard guitar.
off to find out if glittery bubblegum is real, if not: KERCHING!!!
Mo' money, mo' bubbles,