Saturday, 27 February 2010

All that glitters is not gold...

...I know but I hate those stupid adverts OF COURSE WE KNEW GOLD WAS WORTH MONEY, YOU COCK! I thought an envelope full of glitter would piss them off.

Welcome to Operation: Head Fuck i'm your host, The Mink Panther come with me on a journey that begins in the middle, visits the past, threatens the future and ends...well I don't know yet but i'm sure it's somewhere glorious.

Together we can explore; The meaning of life and Motown and Fashion and Ambition and Dessert and Love and Frankie Boyle and Money and Tarantino and Desire and Party Themes and Showtunes and Glamour and Slow Loris's and The Cool Waters advert and Lipstick and Cupcakes and Rachel Zoe and Anxiety and Heaven and Westwood (Tim AND Vivienne) and Champagne and Politics and Karma and Hormones and Controversy and Hollywood and...and...and The horror when you run into someone at the Family Planning Clinic and you feel obliged to inform them you're only there to get your pill in case they think you've got a contagious venereal disease that involves a doctor taking a picture of your genitals and saying, "This one's going in the book", but then you realise that in the silent waiting room you've just screamed, "AH GETTIN MA PILL" really aggressively and with a speech impediment so it looks like you're nervous and over compensating and now they definitely think you at least have The Clap so you start shifting uncomfortably so much so that they now must think you also have Crabs and when you're number's called you bound out of your seat with the speed of Concorde and the grace of a Great Dane roller blading up a ladder causing you to plummet into the glass table without even the intelligence to catch yourself with your arms because in that split second of falling you thought "best to try and look like im not bothered" and mentally glued them to your sides. So now you're lying face down on a glass table like a disused mannequin that's been stolen by a sex offender and all you can see is a copy of Heat from 1992....With all that being said please join me, in raising your glasses to the sky (pour a little on the ground for our homies who can't be here) and toast TO OPERATION: HEAD FUCK!

Keep it sexy,



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